Are your wounds driving away true relationships?

Too often, we retreat when we encounter a rough patch. We withdraw from friends and family. Sometimes we even choose to avoid communication with God. For some, this type of truant behavior is a coping mechanism associated with personal wounds. The escape may serve as a means of avoiding reality or disconnecting because facing the outcome would be painful. Sometimes the flight results from not wanting to entertain anyone’s opinion about your situation. It is often challenging to face the reality of our choices as the reason for our current situation or problem.

Practicing the avoidance technique or disconnecting from those who care can indicate the presence of an unaddressed wound that is easily triggered when faced with the possibility of allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to others. The concept of praying or talking about the wound creates fear. The idea that the Lord may communicate that something in our life needs to change or a false belief needs to be dismantled feels like an unobtainable request. Even harder for some would be an invitation from the Lord to release a relationship or prioritize the development of a new habit. Ephesians 5:8-11(AMPC) communicates the standard of living the believer in Christ should aim to achieve.

Ephesians 5:8-11(AMPC)

8 For once you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of Light [lead the lives of those native-born to the Light].

9 For the fruit (the effect, the product) of the Light or the Spirit [consists] in every form of kindly goodness, uprightness of heart, and trueness of life.

10 And try to learn [in your experience] what is pleasing to the Lord [let your lives be constant proofs of what is most acceptable to Him].

11 Take no part in and have no fellowship with the fruitless deeds and enterprises of darkness, but instead [let your lives be so in contrast as to] expose and reprove and convict them.

There is often a reason for our reluctance to seek out methods that will promote healing. Receiving healing begins with vulnerability. Being vulnerable means that you need to share or discuss your concerns or shortcomings with someone. In many cases, vulnerability leads to accountability, and practicing a life of accountability requires a willingness to be transparent, a characteristic of genuine relationships. My definition of a true relationship is reciprocal and honest communication, pointing us to the cross of Jesus, thus increasing the sanctification process in our lives.

James 5:16(AMPC)

Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].

Enduring the healing process also means acknowledging that something in your life is not in direct correlation or in alignment with the Holy Scriptures; thus, a spiritual intervention is needed. The Lord often reveals our need for healing through interaction with others. If we hide our weaknesses from those the Lord has chosen to help us, we may miss the joyful experience of being healed in an appointed season. We also may delay the current plans or cause interference in releasing the Lord's purpose for us.

Ephesians 5:13 (AMPC)

But when anything is exposed and reproved by the light, it is made visible and clear; and where everything is visible and clear there is light.

Reflect upon your relationships with God, friends, family, or mentors. How are your relationships? Are you embracing the friendship examples in Proverbs 27: 6 & 17? Are you hiding in the comforts of your safe spaces or familiarities or gravitating towards people and places where your shortcomings are not challenged and your wounds not accosted by others? Authentic relationships make us better and help to bring balance and assist with increasing humanitarian qualities and Godly character in our lives. I challenge you to embrace the type of relationships that help you heal.  

Proverbs 27:6(AMPC)

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are lavish and deceitful.

Proverbs 27:17(AMPC)

Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend [to show rage or worthy purpose].